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Since yesterday I have been trying to prove to my Parents and neighbours that I am not mad.
I was only seeing my period.
I am not mad.
Well, this is what happened.
There was no body at home. I mean no body at all.
I sat down on the chair and felt really bored.
My phone was shut down due to low battery.
There was no one to play with. No laptop to play games with. No light. Everywhere felt really quiet. All I did was stare at the ceiling.
An Idle man they say is the devils workshop.
That was how devil brought his tools and opened a big workshop in my head.
Idea started springing up in my mind.
Very sweet sweet Idea.
I have never removed my cloths and walked completely naked round the house before. I decided to try it out that day.
I quickly locked the doors, pulled off my cloths and started walking naked round the sitting room.
As I walked boldly, I started singing..
"Oroja is dead and gone to his grave. Woo! haaa! gone to his grave!"
At a point I started matching like an old soldier.
And then another Idea sprang up in my head.
"Practice frog jump. Praises practice frog Jump so that if soldier catch you, you will do it well."
I squatted and began to frog jump. I imagined a soldier man behind me, and I started begging him to forgive me.
I acted like a criminal while an imaginable soldier was flogging me.
"Oga sorry. Sorry soldier. I no go follow your girlfriend again. Sorry." I screamed so loud.
I frogged jump till I got exhausted.
Then I laid on the floor and panted like a thirsty dog.
While I laid on the floor, I thought about many things.
I thought about life.
I thought about the ongoing corona virus pandemic.
I thought about my remaining draw soup in the fridge.
I thought about how to get garri anf make Eba.
I thought about crossing my local dog with a Guinea pig?
I even imagined how their children will look like.
"My dog will give birth to Guinea puppies." I laughed.
And then I stared at my ceiling fan and thought about people committing suicide.
I began to Imagine again.
Why is it that the neck is always the target when people intend to commit suicide by hanging?
I have never seen someone tie a rope to his p*nis and hang the rope on the fan before.
I quickly ran to the store room and picked up a strong rope.
I tied one end of the rope to the ceiling fan, and the other end to my p*nis.
I needed to try this one, even if it is once in my life time.
I was just about kicking the stool when the door I had locked earlier suddenly open.
My father and mother walked in, followed by Mama Aboi and three other neighbours and their children.
"I tell you say him don mad. Only him stay for inside the beg soldier. Na my children peep through window come see say Oga Praises dey naked. Only him the do frog jump. Now you see am?" Mama Aboi pointed.
"Samuel", even if you want to kill yourself, must you hang yourself by your manhood? Are you well? Who did this to you?" My father shouted.
I tried to explain to my parents that it was play o. I didn't really mean it. I was only testing to see how it will feel hanging somebody by the manhood.
But before I even said any word my mother collapsed on the floor.
"Chidera oooo! My enemies has caught up with me o. This boy has gone mad o."
She pulled off her rubber slippers and ran angrily towards me.
"You this boy. You will not kill me." She shouted as she landed the slippers hard on my buttocks.
More neighbours started trooping into the house.
At that moment I started struggling to loose the rope from my manhood.
I had tied the rope so tight.
I was still struggling when I saw little Aboi with sharp knife in his hands. He handed the knife to mama Aboi who walked like a surgeon towards me.
"Mama Aboi what are you trying to do? Mama Aboi." I screamed in terror.
"Shebi you wan plug off your p*nis with rope. I wan make am easy for you." She said.
"Mama Aboi! Mama Aboi na experiment I de do. Mama Aboi I just wan do testing. I no mean am. No cut my Family commot. Mama Aboi!"
"Idiot stand make I cut this rope before you kill yourself for us"
Written by Samuel Adesina™
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In 1931 Nikola Tesla unveiled and tested a new car. Tesla had developed it with his own personal funds.
The engine had been removed, leaving the clutch, gearbox and transmission to the rear wheels without a break.
The energy receiver (gravitational energy converter) had been built by Tesla himself. It was installed in front of the control panel. A heavy antenna, approximately 1.8 meters long, protruded from the converter. This antenna apparently had the function like that of the moray converter (radiant energy!).
"Now we have power," said Nikola ... said there was enough power in the converter to light an entire house, as well as running the car's engine. The car was tested for a week, reaching a top speed of 144 km per hour effortlessly. Someone commented that there were no gases coming out of the exhaust pipe. Nikola Tesla replied, "We don't have an engine."
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